November 21, 2015
I attempted to focus on fitness awhile back, I failed at the time. I have started to focus once again, it has been going on for a little while now. At the end of August I decided to try Jenny Craig, I had done it successfully before but I failed to learn the maintenance protocol and sadly I allowed myself to regain all the weight I had lost, plus some more. Isn't that how it always goes? I knew Jenny Craig was expensive so I decided to put my gym membership on hold while I went money on the program. I love my gym but it is very expensive, I will go back once I get my head straight with my food plan and the amount of exercise I need to maintain. Thus far I have lost 19 pounds and I feel like I am really starting to finally grasp the interaction of the mind-body connection in regards to food & exercise. I am a trained Chef, I have a very hard time cutting out all of the things that make food so good but I am starting to see that it is possible to splurge once in awhile and still maintain good health. I am also starting to truly crave the burn of getting a good sweat on. I decided that I wanted to become a runner while my gym membership is on hold. It is something I can do locally and it doesn't cost anything other than shoes and clothes...and loading my iPod with good music. I am not fooling myself into thinking that I am going to become a marathon runner but I really want to be capable of running a small distance without the fear of death from failure to breathe. I have never been a runner, I was very athletic growing up: dance, gymnastics, diving, cheerleading...never a runner. In fact, in junior high we had to run a mile once a week, it was supposed to be done in under 15 minutes. I don't think I ever made it in under the time limit. How sad is that? I spent HOURS every week at gymnastics and diving yet every Thursday in P.E. I failed to run 1 mile under 15 minutes. Pathetic. I am proud to say that although I am not speedy I can now complete a mile in under 15 minutes! One of the hurdles I faced after getting out of the hospital after my accident was getting my movement back. I had to relearn how to walk let alone run. My depth perception is gone and the floor used to look like it was moving in waves all the time. My balance is comparable to a toddler at times. When my nephew first started to walk (and then run) I was so scared to be the one with him on the street or in a parking lot because I was concerned that he would take off and I wouldn't be able to catch him or protect him. Luckily that type of situation never presented itself but I knew I needed to be steadier on my feet if I wanted to be a fun Auntie. It took a few years to finally be able to run, but I did it and I am finally getting out there many days a week and running/walking between 3-6 miles. Just last weekend there was a fundraiser for Jackson and Audrey's school, it was a 5 or 10 K or a 1 mile fun run. Last year I participated in the 5 K, I think I was able to run about half of it, I walked the rest. I do believe I finished dead last. This year I actually ran the whole thing, I finished in the last 5 people....but I wasn't last! Its funny how people react when you tell them you are trying to become a runner. There are 2 very definite opinions. #1 is "That's awesome, good for you!" #2 is "Why? Running is to hard on your joints and walking is just as good for you." I believe that there are people out there that are more apt to be runners, maybe it depends on your body-type, maybe it is dependent upon you height, your weight, your strength....who knows but I will say if it is dependent on determination then I do believe I will be just fine. I feel better once I have completed a run, I get a little down on myself if my time is extra slow and I beat myself up a little if my time is really slow but ultimately I know I am still learning how everything functions since my accident and I truly am grateful that it is even a choice for me to get out and run. If I walk a little or if I go slow...too bad - suck it! The point is: I am out there and I am trying. I have also discovered how easy it is for me to get off track. I don't want to be the type of person that uses my disability as an excuse. Unfortunately I have learned how easy it is to get lost in a little bit of pain or a little bit of depression. I have to make it a point everyday not to wallow in self pity, put your big girl panties on, suck it up an go....
